Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Pre-Sherlock Holmes Favorite Film List of 2009

Hello all,

I've seen 15 films this year in theatres. I have yet to see Sherlock Holmes (hence, the title) or Nine (Kristen's influence). 15 is about an average year quantity wise.

Quality? There were a handful of films which I really liked, but none I loved. Two are what I consider "great" (because the standard is so low), but none I'd give a 9/10. The maximum is 8. Please note that these are only ones I've seen in the theaters. I've seen more on video and in class.

So, from worst to best...

15. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.
Kristen loves Kristin Kreuk and Chun-Li, and that's why I saw it. From the poo-poo acting to the camera winks, it's a pile of shit. In fact, Kristin K. was the only redeemable thing about the movie.

14. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
I don't need to go into detail. It's really that bad.

13. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian.
While the first film was creative and new, the sequel got old fast.

12. New Moon.
As long as you put it in its proper context, it's watchable. Please remember it's not a horror movie. The films are much better than the books, which make me want to hurt myself.

11. Paranormal Activity.
Bad ending. Descent premise. A big upgrade from Blair Witch, though neither are really scary.

10. X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
A little underrated. Liev Schreiber and Ryan Reynolds are what makes the movie tick.

9. Watchmen.
Overrated and a little long. Though everyone loves Rorschach, Jeffrey Dean Morgan made this movie for me.

8. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.
Much better on a second viewing. Ties up the Underworld mythology nicely.

7. Bruno.
Not as good as Borat, but close. Inappropriate and hilarious, right up my alley.

6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
Not as good as Order of the Phoenix, but enjoyable. Alan Rickman needed much more screen time.

5. Public Enemies.
Michael Mann gangster film. No need to explain.

4. A Christmas Carol.
An unexpected pleasure. Beautiful and a little creepy.

3. Earth.
Breathtaking and gut-wrenching.

2. The Princess and the Frog.
I laughed more in this movie than I have at any other this year. It's about time they had an African-American princess. Please, Disney... do this style of animation over Pixar.

1. Terminator Salvation.
Great story and even better special effects. Highly underrated and deserving of a sequel.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Bad Drivers and How I Deal With Them

I always thought I was a descent driver. I had a few nicks early in my career, but nothing terrible to speak of.

When I visited California in Dec. '05, it was a new world. No cops and too many rich people... horrible driving conditions. Stop lights and turning signals did not exist. The speed limit seemed like a myth.

I came home, finding it easier to avoid bad things after driving in California. To be honest, West Virginia is a little better than CA. But...

...Super Bowl time last year I went to Southridge Shopping Center (the unfortunate social center of Charleston). I got smashed in the rear by one of the many chaotic fools on the road.

Fortunately, I was in the middle of a defensive driving course required for my job. I thought initially thought it was bullshit (like most of what the government thinks is good). But, I learned a few things which have saved my ass more than twice.

1. Slow the fuck down. There's no real reason to speed. I formerly was an extremely impatient fellow. Then I started to calm down and use the cruise control. The more I observed my fellow motorists, the more idiotic the roadways became.

Most people speed, and get pissed when they're stuck behind you when you don't speed. I drive at the speed limit, and folks still zip by me in absolute rage. There is no line, and people are in too much of a hurry. The NASCAR mentality may have something to do with this, but I believe most drivers are just impatient pricks.

2. Keep a good following distance. I do not tailgate. I will not tailgate. Fuckface who tailgated ran into my ass. If it means slowing down, do it. I've heard more than once that "I'm a good driver" while riding someone's ass.

I actually called the cops on a truck driver who flashed his lights at me and attempted to ram me because I decided to go the speed limit. Long story short, that motherfucker doesn't work there anymore. There is no reason to ride someone's ass.

3. Stay off the phone. That's pretty simple. If you must use the phone, at least put it on speaker. I have a passenger handle that shit. It also saved my neck.


...just thought I'd like to pass that along.

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Funny story.

Usually yelling swear words at drivers gets them to back off or at least pass you. A couple weeks ago, a woman on the cell phone in a nicely pressed van didn't seem to respond to "fuck." So I pulled out something original. I usually leave folks alone, but she was being an asshole.

I rolled out the window, and yelled: "YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T LOVE YOU!" That seemed to work as she slowed down and hung up her little Iphone. In fact, it worked a lot better than "fuck." Shouting things which folks can't respond to usually gets best results.

"Stop touching yourself" is next.

---------------------------

So please... for the sake of all descent mamma-jamma's, try to drive a little better. Wherever you're going and whatever you're going to will still be there, I swear.

Save the close contact for the bedroom.



Cheers,

LB

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Blogging New Moon: A Review

The following are thoughts from the movie “New Moon.” I’ve never reviewed in this style yet, so it’ll be entertaining. I read the book before the movie, and it was absolutely dreadful. Useful as toilet paper, but not much else. Do keep in mind that these books and films aren’t from the horror genre.

Spoilers ahead.
---------------------------------
“Let’s get it over with,” said Kristen after a meal from Bob Evans.

We went to see Twilight last year with the idea that it would be the worst movie ever. I’m expecting New Moon to blow.

I ask the chick who got our tickets if the actors look as stoned as they are in real life. She holds back a huge ferocious laugh.
----------------------
Sherlock Holmes! I wonder if anyone reads Conan Doyle anymore.

I see at least 26 iphones. Oi. Yuppies anonymous.

Ha! Alec Baldwin said “omg” in a trailer. Talk about reading the crowd.
-----------------------
Wow, Bella actually doesn’t look stoned.

Robert Pattison in slow-mo is ridiculous. I’m officially pissed off. Some girl in the front row wet herself apparently.

Edward looks like he has mudbutt. Maybe that’s why he’s so sad. Can sparklepires have mudbutt?

The music sucks.

Helllloooooo Ashley Greene.

I like the dude who plays Bella’s dad (Bill something). He seems to humanize things.

Wow, they actually gave the guy who played Emmitt Cullen a line.

Peter Facinelli needs more to do with his character.

Edward is leaving Bella. Did that dude sitting behind me start crying?

Bella looks stoned again. Maybe the intermittent drug use is for dramatic effect.

Kristen Stewart is doing a good job. Better than the first.

My wife has really nice hands. Oh yeah, a movie’s playing.

Laurent is not a bad part to play. Too bad he’s going to be dog food.

Awww, how cute! The werewolves make me want to adopt a puppy.

Bad CGI withstanding, the movement of the wolves is interesting.

They shaved Jacob Black’s hair. I guess the werewolves have some sort of de-fro’ ing ritual.

Werewolves don’t need shirts. They’re weatherproof.

Bella’s happy again now that she got her ass out of the house. Again, she looks less stoned.

Now she’s a danger junkie and addicted to speed (pun intended).

This music really does suck. They’ve lost the whiny guitar from the first movie that sounds like a cat taking a dump, but this is worse.

This movie is much better than the book (so was the first one).

Bella, doing a failed Superman impression, jumps into the water.

Ashley Greene’s back. Hallelujah.

Edward smashed his iphone. Good for him. The world needs less of them.

Something about Edward listening to country music and he wants to hang himself for it. I don’t blame him. Too much Conway Twitty can do that to a person.

Sparklepires are required by screenwriting law to drive fast.

Nice shot of the Italian festival.

Edward is shirtless again. Did that dude behind me gasp? As long as he keeps his hands to himself, we’re good.

I can already smell the perverts ready for Dakota Fanning. I guess Hugh Hefner will be buzzing her before long.

Hey look, it’s Colossus…

…and they still haven’t given him a line. I guess the X-Men people spread the word.

Michael Sheen looks like he’s having fun.

The Volturi’s eyes actually look disturbing. Good job.
Colossus smash!

Does the dude behind me realize this isn’t real?

Edward’s back, and he’s ready for pooty.

Another line for Emmitt Cullen. Up yours, Matrix!

Edward’s mad at his family. Somebody needs to give him a hug.

So if Bella gets hitched to Edward, will that at least make him cheer up?
------------------------
Not a bad movie. The filmmakers did a hell of a job considering the material. While Stephanie Meyer should be arrested for crimes against literature, the movies so far aren’t that bad. They’re worth watching.

Most of the actors did a nice job. Edward’s lines are weak, but Pattison did what he could. Kristen Stewart has improved greatly. The slow motion has got to go. Someone needs to get a grip on that. The music was flat out horrible and inappropriate. The supporting cast seems to steal the spotlight at times, and that really isn’t a bad thing. The movie is nice to look at.

I’m really surprised the filmmakers made this book watchable. Bonus point to Edward for smashing an iphone.

5/10.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wishes From the Disenchanted

1. To wistfully surrender to another sweet kiss.
2. More happiness. Everybody needs it.
3. Someone to shut up Chris Dodd
4. While they're at it... Michelle Bachmann, Roland Burris, Sarah Palin, Al Sharpton, and the hundreds of political entities who annoy the everloving piss out of me.
5. A Dark Knight sequel involving Two-Face (call me crazy, but I don't care).
6. Conservatives who accept gays, and hippies that shave and bathe (paraphrasing Patton Oswalt).
7. A rationale explanation on why the public allows Hollywood to mass produce shit (.
8. Another vacation. It did me a lot of good.
9. A quick extinction for reality television.
10. Money in my pocket so my wife and I can have a child.
11. A really great semester.
12. An even better Christmas.
13. My thesis (all three of them) to royally kick ass.
14. To visit Europe.
15. To find one political figure who doesn't cheat on their spouses.
16. Another great John Grisham book.
17. For the BBC to dramatize some more stories.
18. To own the Complete Conan Doyle Sherlock Holmes collection from the above listed company. But, it's expensive.
19. For someone to actually do something about poverty, especially in West Virginia.
20. For my neighbors to finally run out of their endless supply of fireworks, which wake me every night until 2 A.M.





R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Waterboarding...

I've got some bad news for everyone involved in this argument... there are no winners.

Waterboarding is torture. No delusion can ever change that. Unfortunately, sometimes... that's our only option. My friends on the left are going to hate this, but I'll explain.

Say we've caught Killer A. Killer A is part of an organization which plans to hit the U.S. with another bomb. That bomb is on a plane heading for the U.S., and it plans to detonate in one hour. You've exhausted diplomacy, bargaining, and psychological intimidation. The clock is ticking. Thousands of lives are in the process. Would you?

Bringing it closer to home, say someone abducted the one you love. Say you've got the criminal, and you can't open the combination lock to free that person you love. Time is ticking. Law enforcement is nowhere to be found. The criminal isn't budging. What would you do?

You'd do it. I'd do it, and I have the stones to admit it. I am in no way endorsing some sort of Batman-ish vigilante style violence... but you get my point.

At times, torture is the only option. However, it should only be used as a final option to the worst of circumstances. I'm open to listening to comments.



The Bush Administration is another freaking story. The more evidence released, the more it looks like the reasoning behind the waterboarding was political. However, not all of the information was released.

Here's my take: Cheney and friends authorized torture. They did it as a knee-jerk reaction to a post-9/11 world. It's been done before (Cromwell, Stalin), and it will unfortunately be done again. That doesn't make it right, but there may have been some truly good reasoning behind it. If waterboarding performed the function per my reasoning above, I'll bite. However, the number of times waterboarding took place per individual is questionable.

And if any of you think Pelosi or the high level Democrats are innocent or oblivious on this, think again. If it comes out that our worst fears are confirmed, then Pelosi should be behind bars with "Dead Eye Dick."

Any questions?

Friday, February 27, 2009

Yes!

I love to yell and scream at the idiots in charge.

I don't do this very often.

In fact, I rarely do it.

Yet this morning, I am more than proud to eat crow.

I began reading an article (http://www.wvgazette.com/News/200902261114), preparing myself for the same lunacy I read every day. Yet then, a gem:

"Housing the homeless is a goal. This will give us more money for shelters, to take care of shelters that exist..."

FINALLY, someone... somewhere, said something of merit. For the first time in years, someone is actually recognizing the problems of the street... and plans to do something about it. I'm smiling while I write this.

It's not in my nature to agree with our leaders. Our lazy Democrats and clueless Republicans choose to enter in useless political bluster, ignoring the real problems of our society. We see the debates, watch the protests, and nothing gets done.

Meanwhile, people are cold... hungry... and in need. The homeless cannot get meaningful employment because they have no address (and the shelters are off limits to employers). No job, no way to move up. You get it.


Say what you want about the shortcomings of Obama and his plan, but this little slice of the pie makes me proud of our leadership (momentarily, perhaps). I've seen the President treat the poor with dignity and respect, and the case of Henrietta Hughes is evidence to that effect. I'm glad, really.

It makes me believe that someone in a position of authority actually gives a crap about the poor. I like thinking like that. Even though such thoughts may be totally naive... these are good thoughts...

...and I am appreciative for them, even for a moment.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Fill In the Blank

West Virginia is a great place to live, if you're a white, straight Christian. Guess that group is a little tired of diversity. Check this out:

http://www.wvgazette.com/News/200902150398

The article comments that one of the involved websites is involved in solely electing Republicans to office. Don't make the mistake of believing this a "Republican" problem, as the majority of elected officials in this state are Democrats.

Bigots come in all shapes and forms. I know, because I used to be one.

To properly trounce the target, one must dehumanize them. "Marriage equality" sounds a lot less provoking than "gay marriage." I've spoken about this before at length, and won't rehash it.

I ask, however, how does one reconcile such bigotry? Religion? Tradition? A lack of education?



Nope, Lewis Black says it best.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-id4GKsaQk

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Love, Bailout, and Canes... Oh My!

Hello folks,

Here on the day of gankings... I spread love. Funny how these little traditions get started. However, for the sake of children... it's good that they give each other Valentine's and not weaponry.

My wife's birthday was on the 4th. Good times. She's never been to the Japanese restaurant around here, and she thoroughly loved it. Got to see Mike and Matt there, too... another bonus.

-------------

School is studious, but captivating. The instruction is fantastic, and the books are even good to read. One class requires 3 books...

...but as any good Dr. Porter student knows, busting your ass is part of the deal. The syllabus is the contract which states "you show up, you work hard, and you bust your ass. In return, you get a good grade." I really like it.

------------

Speaking of reading, I'm rigorously taking to audiobooks again. How much of a boner kill was the ending of "The Historian?" All that Conan Doyle detective work, and that otr suspense...

...at the end, it was as if the author decided to go on a creative vacation. "The Appeal" is good so far. I haven't took up a Grisham book in months, and have yet to read "The Associate."

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My car is a total mess. For those not in the know, Kristen and I were in a wreck. No injuries, thankfully. I got rear-ended by someone following too close. In the midst of this, I was finishing a Defensive Driving course required for all state employees. I actually learned a few things, and was applying them when my little car got spanked.

I drive with different eyes, as some may expect. I think requiring drivers to take such a course is an excellent measure, and would vote for such an idea instantly.

------------

I voted for Obama (after my first and second choices dropped), and I think he's doing a pretty good job thus far in repairing our international reputation, and making descent headway in technology. But can someone explain how this bailout package is going to affect those who really need it... the poor?

I know, I know. Poor first, but who can blame me? At least this President appears to be sympathic, as demonstrated in the town hall meeting. Despite John Edwards being an absolute prick to his spouse (and what good elected official isn't), he did at least provide a plan to attack poverty.

Comments, please.

------------

Miami did another good job with the 2009 class. I really like Armstrong and Dye. Bryce Brown coming or not, Randy Shannon did another exceptional job.

So, this is where is pays off, right? Maybe.

After two new coordinators, a transferred quarterback, a suspension, one bloviated drama involving an assumed phenom freshman, and a partridge and a pear tree... we're in the 2009 preseason.

Miami improved from 5-7 to 7-6. Not bad, and a bowl game appearance to warrant that. Yet already Cane Nation is ready to throw Shannon on the hot seat after a few losses late in the year. Keep in mind, that many of the big names were freshmen and sophomores. Miracles can't happen overnight.

So, what's it going to take for Shannon to keep his job? More wins. I don't expect Miami to win 11-12 games. I don't delude myself into believing that like other fanbase bases (WVU, FSU, and Notre Dame). Miami's early schedule is brutal. Check this out.
  • Sept. 7 at Florida State (W)
  • Sept. 17 Georgia Tech (L)
  • Sept. 26 at Virginia Tech (?)
  • Oct. 3 Oklahoma (L)
  • Oct. 10 Florida A&M (W)
  • Oct. 17 at Central Florida (W)
  • Oct. 24 Clemson (W)
  • Oct. 31 at Wake Forest (W)
  • Nov. 7 Virginia (W)
  • Nov. 14 at North Carolina (?)
  • Nov. 21 Duke (W)
  • Nov. 28 at South Florida (W)
8 wins would be a good year, and probably the magic number Shannon needs to save his job... then kicking all sorts of ass (10+ wins) in 2010. I see 8 wins, 2 losses, and 2 toss-ups. The team is still young, so I see 8-4 and a nicer bowl game. It wouldn't take much to winning the ACC, but I'm being real. Miami still a year away from torching the national stage.

Should Miami end up with another 7 wins, fans will be calling for Shannon's head. I don't buy that. 6 wins? I'll buy that. Should Miami somehow beat Oklahoma... LOOK OUT.

The crystal ball:

A brutal and tough start. A kickass finish due to the experience gained from the rough start.

Lowest record: 7-5
Highest record: 9-3

Prediction: 8-4

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Jason Farley

Again, I come to this blog with a heavy heart.

I attempted to go Cincinnati this Christmas with Kristen. For some reason, the right tire kept deinflating. When we decided to stay, the tire was fine.

I received the message.



I learn yesterday that one of my friends (who I also worked with) died before Christmas. I don't know nor will venture the specific details of his death, but it was not from natural causes... nor was it his fault. I don't know what happened that night, but I'm going to know.

Could that have been me with a wrecked vehicle, lying there without any help? Worse still... could it have been Kristen?

I'm not sure what it is about the students who went to George Washington High School... Bart Monk, Rob Goldberg, Vaughn Suppa, and now Jason Farley all have passed. These were people I knew, all 30 or younger, highly intelligent... and now snatched away.

I played football (though I had no business playing there) with Bart and Rob. I was in JROTC (another place I had no business with) with Vaughn and Jason.

I knew Jason the best the four.

I went to junior high school and high school with Jason. Mostly, he was a surprisingly shy and highly intelligent person. At Marquee, I saw the nature of his intelligence... as he often spouted off these amazing bits of knowledge about history. Jason was remarkable in the breadth and diversity of his knowledge.

He still has a quote that makes me laugh. I'll never forget it as long as I live. I don't think it's appropriate to post now... not because it's dirty.

I really liked Jason, and appreciated talking to someone at Marquee Cinemas who I knew, went to school with, and had a passion for learning. Come to think of it, Jason's knowledge was the first real idea I had that I could actually go back to school and get my degree. I didn't have the spark until I met Kristen.

When I worked at Marquee, Jason never failed to share his knowledge or ask my opinion. Dare I say, I participated in my first level of higher thought with Jason... no debates, just talking. I got my B.A. in History... imagine that.



I feel sick. Have I reached the point in my life where I have to check the obituaries every day? I learned about all the aforementioned deaths (including Dr. Richards) late. Do I really have to start reading that... opening that page every day? It's like playing Russian Roulette.

I'm done for now.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Homelessness in WV

This makes me want to vomit.

http://www.wvgazette.com/News/200901120683

..."The number of homeless people increased in West Virginia between January 2005 and January 2007 more quickly than almost anywhere in the nation..."

No one has done anything to assist in this. Not one person anywhere. In an earlier study in mid-2008, WV also has the greatest gap between rich and poor than anywhere else in the country. Many often remarked, so what?

These things are why "so what."

No, I'm not going to sprout off about it being the government's fault, because we elected those fools in the first place. Now we see the tragic result.

It isn't just about the economy, because those with half a brain saw this coming. For years, we as a society (especially in WV) are delightfully clueless about what really happens in the streets. Otherwise, we wouldn't hear stupid things like "there are no such things as homeless veterans."

If you've never been hungry or spent a night on the street, then you haven't a clue. None. Granted, who would want to have such a thing? But it is the duty of those with means to assist those without.

I'm not talking about welfare here, because that's bullshit... and it doesn't freaking work.

Homelessness costs perhaps a good person a chance for a job, since employers require that individual to have a mailing address. Medical assistance is shoddy, and that shoddy expense comes to hit the taxpayer hard.

Not to mention crime... and the bitter cold of winter.


First of all, those without means are treated with a lack of respect, a lack of dignity. Events far beyond their control have often landed them in a sewer. Not everyone has a support system, or a nice car. We ignore the bum on the street, because they're dangerous.

If the fix means to raise taxes, then do it. If it means to start public works and to create more efficient health care, do it.

If we've got enough money to donate $20 to a DVD, or to an offering plate... then we can all chip in to help the people on the street.

Because if you've ever faced such a thing, you see life with different eyes...

...and it pisses you off.




We haven't too far to look into the mouth of hell.

This was one of the many things Dr. Richards was talking about... getting in touch with the community.



Are we brave enough to drop the stupid political jargon and execute... for the sake of each other? Are we strong enough to drop the act and make "Christmas donations" and everyday event? Are we diligent enough to force our leaders to declare war on poverty? Are we intelligent enough to remove those leaders who don't?


I hope so.

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Golden Globes, 2009

- The most appropriate move yet in film awards history.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ar1qWdpU49g

Sunday, January 11, 2009

1/11/09: Ideas and Ravings

- I still can't get the loss of Dr. Richards out of my mind. WVSU would be very smart to set up some sort of memorial for him... say, rename Hill Hall.

---

- 4 million new jobs with the upcoming administration? We'll see. I'd consider a fraction of that a success.

---

- Christopher Nolan's trend of silence on "Batman 3" is bordering on the absurd. There's a point when building anticipation is replaced by tomfoolery.

Yet, if it will keep in the business of making great films Batman related... I'll take it.

---

- There's nothing like a good airhorn. Nothing. Seeing or hearing an airhorn always brings a smile to my face. And it scares the everloving crap out of everyone in its path. I'm just juvenile that way...

... tee, hee. I need to buy another one.

---

- I recently watched "The Black Cat" (1934). It's good. Not the best Lugosi work, but a very good one.

---

"Supernatural" is quickly shooting up the chart of my favorite TV show list. Rarely have I seen such care given into a storyline, and executed so efficiently. I highly recommend watching it from the beginning. If I had to rank my favorite TV shows, it'd go something like this...

1. Batman: The Animated Series
2. Married With Children
3. Supernatural
4. Justice League
5. Smallville/Pinky and the Brain

---

- As for Smallville...

...put Clark in the damned cape already. How many more pre-Superman stories can be told? I hear Tom Welling has signed for Season 9. In that case, give us a whole season of Tom Welling as Superman. Isn't one of Superman's many nicknames "Smallville?"

Smallville was one of the reasons why I started to actually like the character of Superman. He's fought off every 'B' villain imaginable. We've seen the Justice League. We've seen Doomsday and Brainiac.

Either bring in Darkseid or put him in the cape. Now.

---

- Why do I get the feeling that if Fox gets a hold of Watchmen, they'll turn it into PG-13? Though I stipulate Fox had merit in its case, I consider the timing more than suspicious. The whole DC vs. Marvel (WB vs. Fox) thing may have its first casualty. I have never read the graphic novel, but know the story. The fanbase is going to be pissed. I can't imagine a PG-13 Watchmen. It's a bit like the Schumacher/Batman films.

---

- By the way, bigotry is not indicative of a political party. I'd just like to clear that up. Pricks are pricks, and they come in all shapes and forms.

---

- I actually picked up the pages again of one of the worst books I've ever read... Benn's "China's Golden Age." I saw it on my shelf, thinking... "it can't possibly be this bad." Much like an Alzheimer's patient, I tried reading it again. I made it through 3 pages, and that was because I was trying.

Only history freaks like me would do such a thing. It sucked when it was required reading as an undergrad, and it sucks even harder still. I have rarely read such boring and suffocatingly dull dribble. I had fun more picking at my fingernails.

Smack the reader, arrest the author.

---

Why do so many history books suck? Crane Brinton and Robert Dallek don't suck. It is possible not to suck.

---


LB

Friday, January 9, 2009

Twilight (2008)

I'm not a big MTV guy. I think the concept of music videos is a good idea, but it never really pans out. I'm akin to the Lewis Black theory on this, so pick up one of his albums to see what all the fuss is.

Putting the letters "MTV" in front of it made me cringe a little. That and the very stupid "you brought a snack" line in the trailer. I expected loads of overacting, and a bad script.

I kept my expectations in the gutter. I haven't read the book, either.


However, I really liked it.

I won't do the usual lengthy review... just a few hits and misses.


Catherine Hardwicke did a fantastic job directing this film. Her vision is clearly laid out in each frame. Instead of providing simplistic dribble to satisfy teens, she created a beautifully drawn film. The studios are very, very stupid not to have her aboard for the sequel. I'd rather wait an extra year and have a great film... than to mass produce shit.

The script has problems. See the quoted line above. The vampires aren't scary, nor are they meant to be. They don't have the Hammer fangs, the Tod Browning menace, or the Coppola eroticism. This is a romance story. If you're searching for a parallel, try John Badham's Dracula (1979)... another underrated film. The story itself is unique and places itself well in the genre.

Overall, the acting was good. Robert Pattinson (veteran of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire") and Kristen Stewart work well together. The wisdom of Peter Facinelli in the "father" role was a scene stealer.



So, what's the beef? One word. James.

Cam Gigandet plays this guy named "James," who's assumedly the primary antagonist. The look is a mix between Fabio and
He and the character flat out blow, and I'm saying that in the nicest way possible. Vampires are supposed to be intimidating.

I felt intimidated, the same level of intimidation I felt watching Blazing Saddles. And that pisses me off, because I love Blazing Saddles.

This ran through my head when I was watching the film. So memorizing was the idiocy of this character, so complete was the mediocrity... I had to see it again. I had to remind myself to tune James out whenever he leapt onto the screen.

His screen time is fortunately small, but it's something I can't overlook.

The Hollywood executive who approved this actor for this character in this script should be arrested.

...and we wonder why the French lopped off the cake queen's head.

It conjured in me the same rage when watching the Schumacher Batman films, Gods and Generals, and the TV show Charmed.


I'm better now.


I saw it twice, and I appreciated it more. Vampire films almost always have a good score, and Twilight is no exception. The music added a level of atmosphere without damaging the integrity of the assumed realism (however much you can get in this genre) of this film.

Twilight is a date movie, and I heard the girls (and one guy) in the theater swoon when Robert Pattison gave his best Rudolph Valentino impression.

If you go see this (and you should), don't expect a scare.


Oh, and tell the annoying kid in front of you to turn off the damned cell phone.

8/10.

Shots Without the Pots, 1/9/2009

-So the Florida Gators have won the national championship 2 out of the last 3 years.

There is no logical reason why the NCAA doesn't have a playoff system in place. Every other major sport on the planet has one. Utah had an undefeated season. I think they should be #1.

Prove me wrong.

If we had a playoff system, imagine the possibilities.

Now, we're not going to get that. So, add a +1. How does that help?

The likelihood of more than 4 teams (with conference championships) is slim. I don't know if it's ever happened at the end of the season.

Here's the qualifier. Even if you're a little school... you win, you're in.

That's where the BCS still plays out. The other slots (assuming they're not undefeated) are filled in by the highest ranking teams.


So, that would have meant...

Oklahoma/Utah vs. Florida/Texas

Yeah, yeah. Well, Texas beat Oklahoma. USC doesn't deserve a spot in that scenario.

+1 all the way.

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So, Robert Marve is gone. I really liked him, despite the season mishaps. Problem was, Jacory Harris was at the very least... equal to him. And there's that badass comeback he had.

Now that it's hurt recruiting. I'm not irritated at 7-6. But here comes year three. Everyone, myself included, continues to expect improvement. The recruits are too freaking talented.

I'm not saying a 10 win season is next season. But 8 or 9 shouldn't be out of the question... not in the ACC. Now that Nix is gone, things should get even better.

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My review for Twilight is coming next post. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it.

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Who's gonna be Selina Kyle in "Batman 3?" Here's a list of some that I've ballied around, in no particular order:

Evangeline Lilly
Alyssa Milano
Rachel Weisz (the rumor train is plugging her hard)
Lena Headey
Anne Hathaway
Rose McGowan

Do you have a pick for Catwoman? Let me know.


LB

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Random Continued, A Wednesday

Tuesday is better than Monday. Wednesday is better than Tuesday.

Yeah, affixed cliche above... but it's a long week.

I'm itching to play my new Scrabble board. Anyone want a go?

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I think free time is just dandy. Sitting on your ass is a nice way to pass the time. At least I admit I like being lazy at times...

...gives me q.t. with my pretty girl.

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It seems that TDK is getting a few more nominations. Awesome stuff.

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Can someone please explain to me the attraction of the IPhone?

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Random Musings

I'm still hit pretty hard about the loss of Dr. John Richards. I had the man twice for class, Origins and Social Networking.

I made this group on Facebook so people can talk about him... but I fear it doesn't do any justice at all.

I found out late.

Not once did I hear Dr. Richards raise his voice, have a frown on his face, or put someone down. The man saw me graduate, and that helps a little.

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In that note, people care too much about stupid crap... myself included.

Politics do not freaking matter. The bad things, the things which rip society apart... are inconsequential. I wish I could be more articulate, but happiness is it... the Secret.

It doesn't take a stupid book to figure that out. Happiness is what matters. Damn the rest.

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I began the work week finding out about this, and it's hard not to think about it. I can only imagine what those closer to him are feeling.

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My employees are getting sick all over the place. I've commanded them to keep their distance, because the last thing I need is to get chummed by the murky nastiness.

I think I may keep this blog active more often than not... perhaps I may have something interesting to say.

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Why are my neighbors always yelling? They seem to enjoy yelling at their dog, who barks. Funny, but the dog is quieter than the neighbors. I thought that it was perhaps the thin walls of the trailer.

I turned up the music full blast and walked outside. It seems that their rage is louder than the music. How best to be a good neighbor?

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La Rosa's needs to deliver to my home. Now.

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I'm really glad everyone liked my short film. If you're reading this, thank you for your kind comments.

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Hitting the weights doesn't quite give me the energy boost I want, but it does relax me. The soreness in my triceps is gone... so I must be getting somewhere.

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My little cat is going to the vet to get fixed. They've got some discount going on. I'm all about saving money.

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I wrote a script for a short film. It's a comedy, and I'm wigging. I'm funny sometimes... but can I write funny?

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I am still trying to replace my VHS tapes. I wish they would just... go away with DVD's.

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I really miss Dr. Richards. Not to bang the drum, but it's hard not to think about someone that influential.



LB

Monday, January 5, 2009

Update: Denouncement of Citizenship

Look, I need a new state of citizenship.

Someone take me.