I've had my fun with four primetime candidates. I must admit, the idiocy amuses and astounds me. But what about the little guys?
Don't they deserve to be stupid, too?
Absolutely. These candidates want to be treated the same as the heavyweights, so let's do it!
------------------------------------
Fred Thompson. His heavyweight status is now being sorely tested by Huckabee, Romney, McCain, and Guiliani. Sorry, Jack, but you've got two things running against you.
1. You've been a Senator, just like some of the other idiots in the race. So guess what? Voting records a plenty to be held against you. 2. Your moving picture career. We've already had a actor-President, and currently have an actor-governor. Being an actor of sound mind, that takes away the right for you to say stupid things (except if you're Tom Cruise). So, don't say anything stupid, ok? Ok? You're not listening to me!
"I'm afraid that the Soviet Union and China are not ever going to do anything that's going to hurt them that badly but we need to ratchet those up if at all possible." --on how he would deal with Russia. Wow. Vague much? You sound like Obama, and I think you may have lost your Oscar.
"Gosh, no one has told me that there's any major reserves in the Everglades, but maybe that's one of the things I need to learn while I'm down here" --after being asked his position on oil drilling in the Florida Everglades. A Republican naive of an oil reserve. Who knew? Are you lying, or are you stupid?
-----------------------------
Dennis Kucinich. I really love this guy. His voice screams "impersonate me, for I know everything." He wants to impeach Dick Cheney. Unfortunately, I really think he believes it can happen. That puts him in the idiot category, too. None of us can win. He's also got voting records to hold against him.
"War can be so impersonal yet when we put a name, a face, a place and match it to families, then war is not impersonal." Captain Obvious strikes. No one likes to go to war. Sometimes, it's a necessity. See World War II for more. Sheesh.
“There are so many things to investigate this Administration for,” Ok... like what? There are 1001 reasons, clown. Are you incapable of naming one of them? Next!
---------------------------
Ron Paul. Along with being a stunt double for Ratatouille, rumor has it that this guy raised a load of money from the internet. Like Kucinich, he's from the House. He's also ran for President. Guess what? He's about to go 0-2.
"If you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be." Just for that, I hope you do get robbed, Mr. Paul. Nice one.
"Given the inefficiencies of what D.C. laughingly calls the `criminal justice system,' I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal." Wow, in masquerading as tolerance advocate, Mr. Paul becomes moron. 95%? I guess the legacy of Andrew Jackson will never die.
---------------------------
Bill Richardson. Being governor of New Mexico is a good thing, as governors garner some very good historical attention to getting elected. The NRA also rates this guy (a Democrat) very high. Unfortunately, he's in the asylum, along with the rest of them.
"I've been told that I have a lot of energy. The secret is that I use renewable resources. Some days I'm solar powered. Some days I'm wind powered. And some people in this room might think I'm hybrid gas-powered. You'll just have to guess which it is today." Really? Bill Richardson is energized by the sun? Where's the plate on your head to allow that to happen? I'm guessing you're running on Viagra.
"I don't have all the answers. I need your help, your guidance, and your leadership to tackle the challenges before us." Aww... humility. Isn't that just the cutest thing? If you don't have all the answers, do you have some of the answers. I think you're full of crap.
---------
Ladies and gentlemen, we don't have a lot to work with. We've been striking out for years. We've gone from Dwight D. Eisenhower to George W. Bush, and from John F. Kennedy to John "I believe in everything" Kerry. From the list of candidates above, the devolution may just continue.
Don't they deserve to be stupid, too?
Absolutely. These candidates want to be treated the same as the heavyweights, so let's do it!
------------------------------------
Fred Thompson. His heavyweight status is now being sorely tested by Huckabee, Romney, McCain, and Guiliani. Sorry, Jack, but you've got two things running against you.
1. You've been a Senator, just like some of the other idiots in the race. So guess what? Voting records a plenty to be held against you. 2. Your moving picture career. We've already had a actor-President, and currently have an actor-governor. Being an actor of sound mind, that takes away the right for you to say stupid things (except if you're Tom Cruise). So, don't say anything stupid, ok? Ok? You're not listening to me!
"I'm afraid that the Soviet Union and China are not ever going to do anything that's going to hurt them that badly but we need to ratchet those up if at all possible." --on how he would deal with Russia. Wow. Vague much? You sound like Obama, and I think you may have lost your Oscar.
"Gosh, no one has told me that there's any major reserves in the Everglades, but maybe that's one of the things I need to learn while I'm down here" --after being asked his position on oil drilling in the Florida Everglades. A Republican naive of an oil reserve. Who knew? Are you lying, or are you stupid?
-----------------------------
Dennis Kucinich. I really love this guy. His voice screams "impersonate me, for I know everything." He wants to impeach Dick Cheney. Unfortunately, I really think he believes it can happen. That puts him in the idiot category, too. None of us can win. He's also got voting records to hold against him.
"War can be so impersonal yet when we put a name, a face, a place and match it to families, then war is not impersonal." Captain Obvious strikes. No one likes to go to war. Sometimes, it's a necessity. See World War II for more. Sheesh.
“There are so many things to investigate this Administration for,” Ok... like what? There are 1001 reasons, clown. Are you incapable of naming one of them? Next!
---------------------------
Ron Paul. Along with being a stunt double for Ratatouille, rumor has it that this guy raised a load of money from the internet. Like Kucinich, he's from the House. He's also ran for President. Guess what? He's about to go 0-2.
"If you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be." Just for that, I hope you do get robbed, Mr. Paul. Nice one.
"Given the inefficiencies of what D.C. laughingly calls the `criminal justice system,' I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal." Wow, in masquerading as tolerance advocate, Mr. Paul becomes moron. 95%? I guess the legacy of Andrew Jackson will never die.
---------------------------
Bill Richardson. Being governor of New Mexico is a good thing, as governors garner some very good historical attention to getting elected. The NRA also rates this guy (a Democrat) very high. Unfortunately, he's in the asylum, along with the rest of them.
"I've been told that I have a lot of energy. The secret is that I use renewable resources. Some days I'm solar powered. Some days I'm wind powered. And some people in this room might think I'm hybrid gas-powered. You'll just have to guess which it is today." Really? Bill Richardson is energized by the sun? Where's the plate on your head to allow that to happen? I'm guessing you're running on Viagra.
"I don't have all the answers. I need your help, your guidance, and your leadership to tackle the challenges before us." Aww... humility. Isn't that just the cutest thing? If you don't have all the answers, do you have some of the answers. I think you're full of crap.
---------
Ladies and gentlemen, we don't have a lot to work with. We've been striking out for years. We've gone from Dwight D. Eisenhower to George W. Bush, and from John F. Kennedy to John "I believe in everything" Kerry. From the list of candidates above, the devolution may just continue.
2 comments:
Go Huckabee.
Ah yes, an inmate I covered in part 1. Unfortunately, one's as bad or as good as the other.
::shrug::
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