These four candidates don't need any further introduction. Short and sweet, here they are: uncensored and complete morons.
Rudy Guiliani.
"I'm rooting for the Red Sox. I'm an American League fan and I go with the American League team." You've just broken the first commandment for all Yankee fans... and you're a Yankee diehard. Rudy, you don't do that... that's treason to New Yorkers.
"I'm probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world." Wow, Teddy Roosevelt anyone?
"Oh, you dirty boy! Donald, I thought you were a gentleman." --while dressed in drag, after having his "breasts" fondled by Donald Trump. I'm for marriage equality, but seeing Rudy in drag just creeps me out. And this guy wants to be President?!?!?
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John Edwards.
"I'm going to be honest with you—I don't know a lot about Cuba's healthcare system. Is it a government-run system?" And this coming from someone claiming to be for universal health care. Meaning, you're supposed to know these things. And you're an attorney. John, that's inexcusible.
"The president of the United States has to actually be able to walk and chew gum at the same time, has to be able to do two things at the same time." Echo, anyone? Marco!
"They have led us from the edge of greatness when Bill Clinton left office to the edge of a cliff." I'm a liberal, but can you name one thing Bill did? Come on, John, I love Bill... but he wasn't that great.
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Mitt Romney.
"I'm happy to learn that after I speak you're going to hear from Ann Coulter. That's a good thing. I think it's important to get the views of moderates." --right before Coulter called John Edwards a "faggot." Anyone who calls Coulter a moderate automatically loses their right to run for office. Next!
"I purchased a gun when I was a young man. I've been a hunter pretty much all my life." (Romney's campaign later said he'd been hunting twice, once when he was 15, and once in 2006 at a Republican fundraiser). Wow, this guy really is John Kerry's Republican twin.
"I'm not a big-game hunter. I've made that very clear. I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will." ... "kilt 'im a ba're when he was only 3..." Come on, Mitt. No one is going to vote for you by romanticizing your image. No one believes that, unless you're from West Virginia.
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Hillary Clinton.
"We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." See... that kind of statement makes people afraid of you. I know you're drawing a parallel to Bush, but sometimes... it's better to shut up.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." I don't even know where to begin to respond to that one.
"The question is, we face a lot of dangers in the world and, in the gentleman's words, we face a lot of evil men. And what in my background equips me to deal with evil and bad men?" --laughing off a question from a voter who asked Clinton what qualified her to deal with leaders from countries such as Iran and North Korea. Are you trying to dig at Bill? Or Bush? See, Senator, that's why Republicans are afraid of you... like everyone is afraid of Dick Cheney. You're just too scary.
I think I've made my point. I'm so mentally fatigued by these candidates. Somewhere down the line, I'll give some more of these dumb quotes... so everyone can see just how dumb our leaders can be.
As funny and disturbing as these little gems are, please remember that no candidate is flawless, no matter how gleaming the resume, how ethical their religious beliefs, how humanitarian their causes, or how eloquent a speaker. They're human beings, ladies and gentlemen.
So, who's your pick? :)
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